It is hard to be an adult and to have to live with all the consequences of your actions. To know that every decision you make is going to affect the people around you. I hate being an adult, I hate knowing that I would never have what I really desire, I hate that I have to choose between myself and everybody else, between my and their happiness.
How am I to do that? Who am I to say that my personal happiness is more important that the happiness of ten other people, my parents including? Who am I to trow all the efforts that the sacrifices that they have made for me and to flee?
I am a coward, who will never be truly happy. I am a coward who wants to be saved from myself and my inability to put myself over the others. And you know what the worst part is? No one is ever going to save me. No one is ever going to shake my hand and tell me I did well either. My efforts not to hurt people around me will never be appreciated.
Sometimes love does not win. Sometimes love is just pain and sorrow and tears. Sometimes it is only there to remind us that we will never have it.
